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What It’s Like Dancing with a Narcissist

What It’s Like Dancing with a Narcissist

  |   By Nanda Davis

The pattern of dancing with a narcissist always starts the same way. The narcissist’s reaction is extreme compared to the situation. Maybe she bursts into tears. Maybe he starts shouting curse words. Maybe it’s at you. Maybe it’s in front of the kids or the neighbors who stopped by. Maybe it’s at the poor contractor who is finishing the repairs in the basement. Their Need for Reassurance Immediately afterwards the narcissist needs your reassurance. Reassurance... Read more »
Dealing with Regret: Why Did I Stay For So Long?

Dealing with Regret: Why Did I Stay For So Long?

  |   By Nanda Davis

Many people struggle in dealing with regret after toxic marriages end. Feelings of embarrassment, guilt and anger can be common. They may feel like they threw away years of their lives, or they may feel like they somehow failed because they didn’t leave sooner. While these feelings are a natural part of the grieving process, ultimately my hope is that you can give yourself grace and forgiveness. If you're dealing with regret, it may be... Read more »
Five Co-Parenting Mistakes You’re Making

Five Co-Parenting Mistakes You’re Making

  |   By Nanda Davis

Even though you are no longer in a romantic relationship with your ex, it is still important for the two of you to communicate when co-parenting your children. Many people may think they are doing a good job of communicating with the other parent, not realizing that there may be room for improvement. The following are the top five communication errors in co-parenting I see between separated parents: 1. Using Your Children as Messengers for... Read more »
When Friends Abandon You in the Middle of Divorce

When Friends Abandon You in the Middle of Divorce

  |   By Nanda Davis

No doubt life’s ups and downs are easier to handle when you have good friends by your side. You might imagine the early stages of your divorce in the company of the guys drinking beers or on the back porch with your girlfriends sipping chardonnay. But what happens when you’re in the middle of divorce hell, and suddenly those you thought were your closest friends are nowhere to be found? Feeling abandoned by your friends at... Read more »
Conversational Clues You’re in a Relationship with a Toxic Spouse

Conversational Clues You’re in a Relationship with a Toxic Spouse

  |   By Nanda Davis

You’ve had a conversation with your spouse and you’re ready to cry. But you’re not sure whether they are tears of hurt, frustration or both. Your spouse didn’t raise their voice or use bad words and maybe he/she was even calm during the conversation. You might even start to wonder if you’re overreacting. Is this normal? Are you the problem? Here are conversational clues you’re in a relationship with a toxic spouse: They Ignore Conversation... Read more »
How to Deal with Pandemic Stress in the Middle of Divorce, Custody Battles & Unhealthy Relationships

How to Deal with Pandemic Stress in the Middle of Divorce, Custody Battles & Unhealthy Relationships

  |   By Nanda Davis

For all my current clients, those who think they one day may be my client, and for those reading this post wondering if divorce is right for you: Wow, what a stressful couple of weeks this has been.  Even under the best of circumstances the uncertainty of who will get sick next, what’s going to happen with this pandemic to those we love, this country, our economy, it is enough to make anyone feel like... Read more »
Resist and Refuse: When a Child Does Not Want to Spend Time with One Parent

Resist and Refuse: When a Child Does Not Want to Spend Time with One Parent

  |   By Nanda Davis

I recently attended a seminar taught by clinical child psychologist, Edward Farber (author of Raising the Kid You Love with the Ex You Hate) on what he calls “Resist and Refuse” cases—when a child resists or refuses to see one parent in a divorce or separation.  Dr. Farber focused on those cases where the child’s refusal to see a parent was unjustified and acknowledged that cases where the rejection was justified (like abuse and neglect... Read more »
Why Divorce is an Investment in Yourself

Why Divorce is an Investment in Yourself

  |   By Nanda Davis

Consider your divorce as a positive investment in yourself and your future. Just like any other investment in yourself, such as getting an education or getting in shape, a divorce takes time, energy, and money. In all of these instances, it's often true you get out what you put into it. If  you want to increase your strength and endurance, you might hire a personal trainer or put in consistent time at the gym. If... Read more »
Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse

Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse

  |   By Nanda Davis

It can often be hard to tell if you are the victim of emotional abuse. Abusers are manipulative and unfortunately their repetitive behavior can become your normal. Below is a list of warning signs of emotional abuse that I see frequently in my line of work. While your abuser might not fit every category on this list, or he has other behaviors not listed, it can still be just as damaging. If the below experiences... Read more »
Giving Yourself Grace as You Consider Divorce

Giving Yourself Grace as You Consider Divorce

  |   By Nanda Davis

The most intense feelings of anger and sadness during a divorce may not be directed at a spouse, but may instead be directed at yourself.  You may feel frustrated that you stayed as long as you did or didn’t see the signs sooner. You may feel sadness that you couldn’t protect your children more. You may be asking yourself why you let your spouse treat you the way that he did. As you feel these... Read more »