Blog

Silently Struggling: Living in Agreement with a Narcissistic Spouse

Silently Struggling: Living in Agreement with a Narcissistic Spouse

  |   By Nanda Davis

How many times have you found yourself nodding and agreeing with your spouse, even when their actions were clearly indefensible? Maybe you listened as they justified yelling at their sister, labeling her the problem. "Of course," you murmured, "she's out of control." Or perhaps you smiled and stayed quiet when the dog’s accident on the carpet—while your spouse was gaming with friends—was blamed on your child, even though he wasn’t even home. That car accident?... Read more »
Do’s and Don’ts of Dealing With A High Conflict Spouse or Ex Spouse

Do’s and Don’ts of Dealing With A High Conflict Spouse or Ex Spouse

  |   By Nanda Davis

If you live with or are separated from a high conflict personality, every interaction can be upsetting and exhausting. Everything turns into a fight. Sometimes it’s verbal abuse. Sometimes it’s the silent treatment. It can seem like nothing you say or do is right. Some high conflict personalities have personality disorders like narcissism, borderline, histrionic, or antisocial. Many high conflict people have traits of these disorders without having the full blown disorder, but are still... Read more »
Why You Should Consider Mediation for a Custody Dispute

Why You Should Consider Mediation for a Custody Dispute

  |   By Nanda Davis

People in family law disputes often feel hurt and broken by the actions of their spouse. Adultery, domestic violence, lying, belittling, and emotional abuse are some of the common concerns we see. Their hurt is so deep that it has become a physical sensation and they can never imagine a time when they won’t be consumed by their anger and grief. No one can hurt you quite as badly as those you have deeply loved.... Read more »
Why Being in a Relationship with a Narcissist Increases Your Anxiety

Why Being in a Relationship with a Narcissist Increases Your Anxiety

  |   By Nanda Davis

There’s no doubt that there’s a lot to be anxious about these days.  From the pandemic to politics and the economy, it’s safe to say that we’re all feeling a little stressed.  But if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, chances are your anxiety is heightened to unhealthy levels.  Here are four reasons how being in a relationship with a narcissist will exponentially increase your anxiety: 1. Gaslighting The term gaslighting comes from the... Read more »
What It’s Like Dancing with a Narcissist

What It’s Like Dancing with a Narcissist

  |   By Nanda Davis

The pattern of dancing with a narcissist always starts the same way. The narcissist’s reaction is extreme compared to the situation. Maybe she bursts into tears. Maybe he starts shouting curse words. Maybe it’s at you. Maybe it’s in front of the kids or the neighbors who stopped by. Maybe it’s at the poor contractor who is finishing the repairs in the basement. Their Need for Reassurance Immediately afterwards the narcissist needs your reassurance. Reassurance... Read more »
Dealing with Regret: Why Did I Stay For So Long?

Dealing with Regret: Why Did I Stay For So Long?

  |   By Nanda Davis

Many people struggle in dealing with regret after toxic marriages end. Feelings of embarrassment, guilt and anger can be common. They may feel like they threw away years of their lives, or they may feel like they somehow failed because they didn’t leave sooner. While these feelings are a natural part of the grieving process, ultimately my hope is that you can give yourself grace and forgiveness. If you're dealing with regret, it may be... Read more »
Five Co-Parenting Mistakes You’re Making

Five Co-Parenting Mistakes You’re Making

  |   By Nanda Davis

Even though you are no longer in a romantic relationship with your ex, it is still important for the two of you to communicate when co-parenting your children. Many people may think they are doing a good job of communicating with the other parent, not realizing that there may be room for improvement. The following are the top five communication errors in co-parenting I see between separated parents: 1. Using Your Children as Messengers for... Read more »
When Friends Abandon You in the Middle of Divorce

When Friends Abandon You in the Middle of Divorce

  |   By Nanda Davis

No doubt life’s ups and downs are easier to handle when you have good friends by your side. You might imagine the early stages of your divorce in the company of the guys drinking beers or on the back porch with your girlfriends sipping chardonnay. But what happens when you’re in the middle of divorce hell, and suddenly those you thought were your closest friends are nowhere to be found? Feeling abandoned by your friends at... Read more »
Conversational Clues You’re in a Relationship with a Toxic Spouse

Conversational Clues You’re in a Relationship with a Toxic Spouse

  |   By Nanda Davis

You’ve had a conversation with your spouse and you’re ready to cry. But you’re not sure whether they are tears of hurt, frustration or both. Your spouse didn’t raise their voice or use bad words and maybe he/she was even calm during the conversation. You might even start to wonder if you’re overreacting. Is this normal? Are you the problem? Here are conversational clues you’re in a relationship with a toxic spouse: They Ignore Conversation... Read more »
How to Deal with Pandemic Stress in the Middle of Divorce, Custody Battles & Unhealthy Relationships

How to Deal with Pandemic Stress in the Middle of Divorce, Custody Battles & Unhealthy Relationships

  |   By Nanda Davis

For all my current clients, those who think they one day may be my client, and for those reading this post wondering if divorce is right for you: Wow, what a stressful couple of weeks this has been.  Even under the best of circumstances the uncertainty of who will get sick next, what’s going to happen with this pandemic to those we love, this country, our economy, it is enough to make anyone feel like... Read more »